STUPOR BOWL THOUGHTS BECAUSE….

YOU ASKED FOR IT

  • I liked halftime. Yes, I watched it. I think the spectacle of the thing is SO uniquely American that it is something to really behold. A sporting event with a mini-concert in the middle of it, with four or five songs blended into one long one, guest performers in costumes flipping off the television audience, a marching band, costume changes, an elevated stage, and “World Peace” spelled out at the end. Then bing bang boom, stage is gone, and back to the game we go. All of the comments in the room were “She’s SO old.” and “What the hell is with her arms?” and I’m all like, um, you DID see Pete Townshend practically dislocate his shoulder on the windmill attempt out there a few years ago, and oh by the way, KEITH CRYPTKEEPER RICHARDS played the Super Bowl not to long ago. Combined age - 347.6 years. So lets all calm down with the “she’s SO old” chatter. I stood up for you, Madge, even though that cheerleader number was pretty strange.
  • The chess match aspect of the first half was really boring. That game needed a BIG play, a long run or pass, a turnover return or a blocked punt or SOMETHING. It was all short passes and effective runs between the tackles and zzzz… (And yes, the name “Tim Tebow” was mentioned a BUNCH of times in terms of “things that would liven this shitshow up a bit” for $500, Alex)
  • The food choices were all cheese-enhanced at the house. The beers were St. Pauli Girl (seriously), Miller Lite, and Stella Artois. There were no desserts. Final overall food/beverage grade - B minus. Needed better beer and more afters.
  • We all really liked the “WeeGo” Bud Lite commercial, but we’re all dog people, so that one was in our wheelhouse. Personally, I liked the Ferris Bueller redux, but I was hoping for the longer one that was online and there were some grumblings in the room about that commercial being seriously aimed at a certain age group. Well, we’re IN that age group, sorry gang. So. Much. Grumbling.
  • I don’t know what it would be like to watch a Super Bowl without a group of chattering people around. It’s such a different experience than watching a regular season game. The “Battleship” commercial caused a full fifteen minute long discussion on action movies that culminated in an argument about Liam Neeson and whether or not he’s now a legitimate “action star”. HELLO I’M TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HE’S AN ACTION STAR OKAY JEEEEEZUS PLEEEEEZUS
  • The Adriana Lima “If you get your girl flowers on V-Day it’s an auto BEEJ” commercial was met with blank stares. Like, wow, they made that joke on Family Guy with the “She’ll pretty much have to” fake jewelry commercial, but that was an actual real commercial suggesting oral favors in return for flowers. Nice job, TeleFlora. Way to keep it classy.
  • It was not anywhere near as fun as the Pittsburgh-Arizona game, or the Indy-New Orleans game. Just not enough big plays, although the Manning-to-Manningham play was off the charts.
  • Early odds for next year’s performer - Elton John 7:1, Lady Gaga 45:1, Pearl Jam 22:1, Foo Fighters 35:1, Adele 90:1, field 75:1, Barry Manilow 8 billion:1.
  • They should play the Super Bowl on a Saturday night so we could deal with our various next-day ailments as needed. YES WE CAN

47 Notes/ Hide

  1. steelopus said: I’ve watched it alone 4 of the last 5 years and by god it’s so much more enjoyable that way.
  2. blankpagesandinvisibleink said: you’re awesome, and my massive headache agrees about the saturday night thing. :)
  3. brian-k said: I’ll take The Field. I think Taylor Swift is vanilla enough to do it.
  4. tracingben said: The only commercial I came close to enjoying was the Apocalypse one for Chevy trucks. The Twinkies were a nice touch, thank you, Zombieland.
  5. vanpocalypse said: Auto-beej… Holy Christ bananas I love you Jack!
  6. 2yellows posted this
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