- I booked DC for the gathering in a few weeks. I can’t be there for Saturday night, but still, I’ll be there for Thursday and Friday. I will definitely be photo-walking both days. Let’s make plans.
- I dislike mushrooms intensely and refuse to cook with them or eat them. Ever.
- I called my sister and when she picked up the phone, I couldn’t talk. I just sat there and listened to her until she hung up. I don’t know what to say to her right now.
- Walking around that big open nature preserve last Friday was cool until the thought popped into my head that if I had a heart attack out there, no one knew I was there or would be able to do anything about it. Then my head said “so what” and I calmed down and didn’t think about it again.
- Even though the sound is a bit wonky, this cover of Fake Plastic Trees by Amanda Palmer is pretty amazing. I could start a tumblr of amazing covers, I think. That song, in any form, will get me every time.
- I don’t think some of my ask box messages are going through, or some of you just don’t like me as much as I thought/hoped you did. Tumblr’s been a wonky old piece of crap lately.
- I was going to make this a video post but I couldn’t find my FlipCam so I wrote it all out.
Rogue Wave - California
From a false family, she could light you up
Like a holiday tree in the summer
So lead us there
Truthful Tuesday: I listened to this record three times through today.
My niece turns two on Saturday.
I don’t really talk to my sister much these days. We’ve had a parting of the ways since she moved back to England with her new husband.
It’s isolating, you know? My dad is London and he’s not one for a lot of chatter lately. My sister seems more interested in her new friends and Harrod’s than me. I guess I understand. Things change. People change. People move on. It’s happened to me and I’ve done it.
The damage that gets left behind is palpable, though.
I’m making inquiries about that candy store. If I end up with it, it will be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done ever.
I’m totally going to do it, though.
There’s one truth I can’t talk about.
Been doing a lot of thinking lately.
Things aren’t always easy. It’s rare when life goes in a straight line from point A to point B, no matter how much you might want it to. I try not to look back too much, other than to maybe evaluate if I missed things or could have possibly done something differently, but I don’t dwell on it any longer than I need to. Card laid, card played, as my father was fond of saying.
It’s a weird headspace.
- It’s been a day. Like, a REALLY trying day. Ways, things, you know how it goes.
- I feel like Instagram for Android is a good thing. [2yellows]
- I have 8 songs in queue. I went on a song storing bender this morning.
- I don’t really care if you listen to the songs I post, I do appreciate the hearts. I’ve thought of just posting the songs without any information at all just to see what people would say if/when they listened. I always try to find stuff you might like if you’ve never heard it before, I promise.
- I hate it when work expects me to both TRY and CARE in the same day. Pick one, assholes.
- I never heard back about something I was really interested in and hopeful about, and it sort of bothers me that they never even sent an email saying, oh, we liked you, but it’s on hold or whatever other reason they could come up with. I guess I know I might have ended up regretting doing it given that behavior, but still. Act like a pro, man.
- You write stuff, I write stuff. Do I “know” you? No. Do you “know” me? No. Don’t assume you know anything about anyone based on a tumblr post or posts or manifestos or “private” blogs.
- Insert [glasscaseofemotion.gif] here.
- I did write six scathing paragraphs this morning. I deleted the whole thing. I guess the purging of the soul just needs to happen and be over with but the burning of bridges just doesn’t need to happen.
On work and truth
It’s been a weird day.
The lack of caring regarding my job is palpable, yet, whenever I’m spoken to about my performance it’s always with the idea that not only do I care but that I’m also really doing a good job. I don’t know if that means I try without really meaning to or that they just don’t pay anywhere near enough attention to my overwhelming apathy towards, well, everything. I just grind these weeks out now. We don’t have a scheduled holiday from MLK Jr. Day in January to Memorial Day at the end of May. Year after year, I try to go without taking a vacation day during that stretch. I look at it like if I can make it through that stretch without cracking and giving in to my overwhelming desire to be doing literally anything else, I can get through whatever else comes along. I think it behooves companies to look much deeper at how they treat the people who are on the front lines with their customers, but what do I know? I’m lower middle management with no real power. I’m barely invested. I don’t care at all what happens to the company as a whole and I only barely care about a few of my remaining colleagues from the old days. I guess this is the new reality, and it affords me saving loads of money on gas and gives me the chance to try to finally finish Medal of Honor at some point, but still, it’s such a joyless experience.
I’m taking questions for truthful Tuesday if you all want to know anything. Otherwise this is it for that particular MEME.
Truthful Tuesday
When I do something like what I just did, I feel like a MAN. Fixing things, putting things back together, turning stuff back on and having it work, that is some satisfying shit.
Anyway, totally thrilled about doing laundry again, y’all.
It's kind of all over the place. It's casual. It's scruffy.
